FLASH AND SAM MEET THE RAPPER

Art by Jose Sanchez

By Charles H. Newton

You can tell him anywhere by his rap.

      Flash and Sam were working on the computers at Condo College when the Rapper first made their acquaintance. He was a fine-looking man in his twenties, six feet tall and of muscular build with the noble bearing of a warrior, which was, indeed, what he had been  in Joshua’s army at the battle of Jericho, when the walls came tumbling down. By the laws of Jehovah, he should now have been dead and gone, but he had been spared that fate by the vicissitudes of nature and the goodness of his Lord, which allows some people to conquer time’s ravages and to escape death for centuries. He told them that he had been sent by Jehovah to Mars to lead the Martians into a new world of discovery of the secrets of the Universe. He spoke a Chaldean language which Sam was barely able to understand.
     The Rapper told them that he was anxious to restore the Medusa to her kingdom of Vespusia where she could meet with her Sisters, who would be able to restore her integrity. Medusa had lost her head on Neptune and it now rested in a plastic bag of black in a corner of Sam’s computer laboratory. They found the bag and the Rapper talked to Medusa, who told them how to go about finding her two sisters, whom she was anxious to see again.
     They all entered the Minnie Mae with a crew of soldiers from Neptune and whooshed off into outer space. After a flight of many days they landed on Vespusia and were told that the land was now in the hands of an army of comet warriors who had captured it from its rulers, Igor and Wendy, and the Druids. After a short battle using popcorn guns Minnie Mae’s crew rescued Igor and Wendy along with Smite and Maggie, the blind girl who was supposed to marry Tyro but had married Smite instead when Tyro had fallen off a cliff and had expired.
     Rapper carried the head of Medusa to the cave of the sisters, where she was restored to her integrity, that is, given a body to conjoin with her head. There was great rejoicing on their part,  but the Rapper didn’t stick around after they had restored Medusa to her body. He didn’t feel too comfortable around them, for some reason. Maggie, her sight restored, was overjoyed to see her husband, Smite, a poet and a world traveler. Both were fine-looking young people with good attitudes.
     There was an army of several thousand comet warriors in the hills surrounding Igor’s castle, armed with swords. They advanced on our heroes and camped about a half a mile from their spaceship. They advanced in battle formation to threaten the Minnie Mae when Medusa and her two sisters appeared on the scene and turned the comet warriors into cattle who fell under the guns of Minnie Mae, and which were turned quickly into roast beef to feed Flash, Sam, and all the other members of their retinue. Thereupon the Rapper made a sign and the land was filled with baskets of fresh bread for all to feast upon. The people praised the Rapper, who shone with a heavenly glow, finding favor again with his Lord.
     The Rapper spoke to the people at the barbecue, telling them about his history. He said he was a time traveler from ancient Judah, telling them about how his army had fallen victim, long after the battle of Jericho, to the army of the Chaldeans, who had vastly outnumbered them. Somehow they had fallen into disfavor with the Lord, who had helped them win the battle of Jericho.  They found themselves the victims of the Babylonians, who were a wild and luxury-loving people who enslaved them. He had been turned into a servant and water-carrier of a noble lady, Esther, who he had been told was living in a castle in the wilds of Vespusia. Esther had fallen in love with the Rapper and had promised him that he would be their husband and king were he able to rescue her from the clutches of a Philistine slave trader, Ur, who had carried her off as his captive. This slave trader had somehow or other learned a system of Chaldean magic which transported his army and its captives to Vespusia, along with vast sums of gold and precious stones, where they’d built a castle waited on by scores of Druids, natives to this area. The Rapper told Flash and Sam to march around Ur’s walled city of Philistines seven times blowing rams’ horns, which they did. The walls of the city fell down and Flash and Sam’s army won the battle, overcoming the Babylonians and capturing the slave-dealer’s castle, at the same time releasing Esther, a beautiful young maiden, from her captivity. She was overjoyed to see the Rapper again. They were forthwith married.
     Ur, the Philistine, was not slaughtered as had been done at the Battle of Jericho, but was allowed to load the Minnie Mae with gold and precious stones from Ur’s vast treasure. His life as well as that of his retainers was spared.
     On the way back to Mars, they stopped at the city of Shylock where they landed close by the super-computer of Admiral Newtnick,  who was not exactly happy to see them, but was happy to meet the Rapper. They became fast friends. All were given a look at the super computer, which was a marvelous piece of work. Newtnick helped them to deposit their vast fortune into a large Shylock bank. He found an apartment for Maggie and Smite as well as a villa for Esther and the Rapper. Sam and Flash bid adieu and the Minnie Mae swooshed off into the Universe, Mars bound.
     They landed at Guerre airport, where they were met by their chief, Minesugar Frozenfood, who was happy to hear about his old friend Admiral Newtnick. They had dinner at a hotel in Guerre, where they were entertained by two handsome witches whom Frozenfood had met when he was a young man arriving in Guerre many years before by wormhole spaceship. The witches had been lucky, as was Frozenfood, to never grow old and to retain their youthful good looks. Their skill and acumen made them the famous musicians they had become. They delighted Flash and Sam with their acts of levitation and magic, just as they had long ago entertained Frozenfood and his friend Jonah.
     Flash, Sam, Frozenfood and crew entered the Minnie Mae and returned to Condo College, happy to be home after their long voyage.

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