From Alluria With Love
by Prologue

You ain gone git it easy

     A little past midnight, just on my way home after putting in a long day as a security guard for “Best Buy”, walking through “Central Park” to get to my apartment, located on the “West Side of Manhattan”, I hear voices. I race to the source of these sounds.

     It’s a beautiful woman sporting copper red hair, red halter and shorts and rubber high-heeled boots. She’s fighting five male assailants. She makes like Mrs. Emma Peel of “Avengers” fame and dispatches all of them with a barrage of martial arts…I believe a combination of judo, karate and Kung-Fu.  I decide to make like “John Steed” and race to the scene just in case she needs me. By the time I get there, the attackers are all unconscious.

     “Are you all right?”


     “Where did you learn to fight like that?”

     “The local YWCA, of course,” she says with a smile.

     Suddenly, out of the brush, a sixth attacker pounces with a knife.

     “Get down.”

     I shove her to the ground, taking the blade stab in my shoulder that was intended for her. I fall on the grass screaming in pain. The bastard lunges again. I draw my piece from my right holster like “Wyatt Earp” and plug that mofo in the gut. He falls down lifeless. The girl points her left index finger where I’m holding my gun. It transforms into a bouquet of flowers.

     “You ain’t from around here, are you, lady?” I scream.

     “No,” she responds.

     “Who are you, lady, and what did you do to my gun?”

     “My name is Ryja. I am from the planet Alluria, located in the Xanadu star system, in the fifth dimension. As for what happened to your weapon, Earthman, well, isn’t that obvious?”

     She is apparently making reference to the flowers I am now holding in my hand, what used to be my gun. She continues, “On my world, firearms are outlawed.”

     “Well, how do your people defend themselves?”

     “Magic and energy from within our chakras as well as interplanetary martial arts like the ones I’ve mastered during my sojourn here on Earth. Now what is your name, Earthman?”


     “Well, Ron, you had better let me see that wound.”

     “Why? Are you some kind of doctor or healer?”

     “Something like that, among other things.”

     She reaches down and gently touches my shoulder. Crimson energy from her left hand dissipates the wound, making me whole once more.

     “Thank you, Ryja.”

     “No, thank YOU, Ron. You have saved my life. Earthman. I must grant you a wish.”

     I grimace and jest, “I wish we were lovers.”

     “Done.” She throws her arms around me and kisses me until I find myself ejaculating. I grab her in my arms and kiss her until she gets all spaced and swoony with ecstasy. “Ooh, are all Earthmen such amazing lovers?”

     “I can’t speak for the others, lady Ry. I can only speak for me.”

     “I am indeed glad I came to your world, no matter how primitive and barbaric it may be.”

     “That makes two. What is your world like?”

     “Oh, beautiful and tranquil. There are no warriors, just lovers. Everyone is equal, free and gentle with themselves and with each other. It is a paradise, my shiny new lover.”

     “Could I go there with you?”

     “Affirmative, my dear Ron, but first—“ She takes out a lavender wand from her magenta purse and taps my head lightly with it. “You are now as immortal as I. We will now freely love for all eternity on Alluria.” She throws her arms around me and I do the same. The crimson energy from her body compels us both to vanish from Earth. I really have no idea what Alluria will be like, but in the immortal words of Steely Dan, “Any world that I’m welcome to will be a better one than the one I’m living in.”